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The Procrastinator

1/17/2016

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By Howard Stanten
Like all saboteurs (those voices in our head that resist our connection to our own greatness), “The Procrastinator” tries to protect us and keep us safe and comfortable.  Those of you blessed with “The Procrastinator” know that the more important the task, the more you will hear from this invasive species.  You see “The Procrastinator” looks for things you want to accomplish and then covers them with a green ooze that smells like rotting fish.  The question I hear over and over again is “Why are the things I most want to accomplish so often covered in green ooze that smells like rotting fish?”
The answer just might be found in the belly of a large human eating beast tens of thousands of years ago.  If we were to do an autopsy on this beast, we would find a human who became too curious about the world beyond the cave, took a risk, wandered out into the dark, and…. became supper for a hungry monster.  In those days, life threatening danger lurked under every rock and behind every tree.  And, when the sun went down, it’s a good thing most of our early ancestors stayed in the cave.  We wouldn’t be here today if they had done tonight what could be done tomorrow.
Psychologists have studied procrastination extensively.  There is research that indicates that avoiding what is really important to us (read also: “scary”) is a relatively modern coping mechanism that has evolved to help us avoid the short term stress of facing our fears.  I suggest that this voice may have been lurking in our heads much earlier.
You see, back then, “The Procrastinator” was a life saver.  “Wait until the morning” was a necessary and lifesaving motto to literally live by.  The thing is, today many of us are living our lives in response to a voice whose life saving purpose has largely become irrelevant.   There are very few occasions when we find ourselves actually staring into the mouth of death.  “The Procrastinator,” however, doesn’t know this.  In fact, it can’t.  It’s hard-wired to be that way and lives in a part of our brain meant to protect us.  “Don’t do it Now-You might die!” 
An unfortunate modern-day consequence of listening to “The Procrastinator” is stress.  “The Procrastinator” disconnects us from doing what we want to do.  It gives that task the appearance, and more importantly the emotional feeling, of something we don’t want to do.  Who would energetically do a swan dive into a pool of smelly green ooze?? 
A vicious cycle is produced when we don’t do what is really important to us. We stress over the not doing, delay further, stress more, and on and on.  This stress is associated with feelings like anxiety, boredom, regret, sadness, emptiness, and regret.  Yes, many of us do eventually “get it done,” but we often do so by stuffing these emotions deep inside.  Usually, it’s another saboteur like “The Fear of Failure” that comes to our rescue at the last minute, saving the day.  Relying on fear to push “The Procrastinator” aside releases all kinds of stress hormones that negatively impact our long term mental and physical health.  We may indeed reach a good deal of “success” in life repeating this process, but the cost is high and the payoff in terms of any sense of personal fulfillment is low.
The volume of “The Procrastinator’s” voice for any of us depends on what we’ve been exposed to in our upbringing, and what we’ve inherited in our genes.   The good news is that, through conscious choice, we can access the volume control and turn it down.  When we turn down the volume, the green ooze washes away. Without that mess covering up what’s really important to us, we rush for the diving board, take a strong bounce up, spread our wings, and dive into the crystal clear water.
So, how do we make this conscious choice?  Well, the irony here is we don’t need to do anything more than simply notice our breath.  “The Procrastinator” usually has us running around doing anything but what we really want to do.  To get to what we really want to do, we need to stop everything and do nothing but breathe.  No “to do” list, no organizing the office supply draw, no email, no watching TV, no sleeping. Just breathe.  Here’s the simple formula for what comes next:
  • Focus on your breath
  • Deepen your in -breath
  • Deepen your out- breath
  • Repeat 10 times
  • Simply notice and experience without judgement how you feel right now
I invite you to give it a try…. now…. Breathe…. Deepen…. Repeat…. Simply Notice
Chances are you feel less stressed, more present, calmer, and more engaged than you did a minute ago.
For those of us that need scientific proof before we change any of our habits, there’s good news that’s been around for a long time.  Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system which is responsible for relaxation.  When we simply notice our emotions without judgement, we make the conscious choice to “be with” rather than “fight” ourselves.  This “being with” frees us to move forward.
When we de-stress, we break the vicious cycle that “The Procrastinator” sets in motion.  Emotions that were previously keeping us stuck become “(E)nergy in (motion.)”  Our capacity to wrap both arms around our higher self comes alive!
Like most things worthwhile in life, practice is the key. So, practice again……………
Now, turn towards the one thing you’ve been avoiding that’s really important for you to do right now and go for it!
 


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Overcome fear, doubt and procrastination

1/11/2016

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Overcome fear, doubt and procrastination
By Michael Kline
As we enter mid-January, many of us have recovered from our resolutions and are back in our comfort zone, feeling bad about ourselves for breaking our promise to be thin, tan and rich by the end of 2016.  No worries, New Year’s resolutions typically don’t work for several reasons. 1. We choose weak goals. The middle of the holidays is not when we are likely to spend quality time reflecting on our core values and life purpose. As a result, our resolutions can lack significant meaning to be sustainable. 2. We choose other people’s goals. Without the deep personal work, we often choose familiar goals – they might be the goals our spouse, friends, parents or boss wants, but they don’t really resonate with us personally. 3. We don’t choose goals at all, we choose strategies to get what we’re afraid to say out loud. For instance, losing 20 lbs. sounds like a goal. However, if we ask why we have a particular goal, we might discover it is really a strategy to achieve something we are less comfortable talking about. Say I want to lose weight so other people find me more attractive – so the goal is to be more attractive and the chosen strategy is to lose weight. When the voices in our head start telling us that either the strategy or the goal won’t be achieved, it’s too easy to quit. By the way, research has proven that a smile is the most attractive feature you can offer! If the weight-loss goal is a life or death health issue, and your true goal is to be alive and well to attend your daughter’s wedding this summer, that may be more compelling than being jealous of your BFF’s skinny jeans.
Choose your own date to begin a resolution and your own compelling purpose do make a change. Ask yourself three simple but deep questions, or better yet, have someone else ask you: 1. What do you hunger for in your life? 2. What really excites you? 3. What difference do you want to make in the world? The answers to these types of questions and many other options a professional coach might use, will lead you to your compelling purpose. The compelling purpose is key.  
It’s time to live like you mean it, play a bigger game, live your larger life… so what’s holding you back? Once you really know what you want, fear, doubt and/or procrastination shows up. The little voices in our head convince us we aren’t good enough. The voices get louder, armed with plenty of evidence that suggests we should stay safe; stay small. We don’t know how, and courage is scarce.
If you wait until you build the courage to do something, you will never do it. We never have enough courage to take action, because courage does not drive action. Courage only shows up as you take the action that required the courage. When you connect an action to your compelling purpose, the fear, doubt, and self-limiting beliefs fade while courage, intelligence, skills… all the resources you need start to show up. I have been experimenting with facing fears – first it was the zip-line, then a free-jump from the height of a three story building, then I jumped out of an airplane. All were easier than quitting a job, moving to the country and starting a business. Still, I thought I was mustering courage to overcome my fears. In each case, I had some compelling purpose to the task – in one case, I was teaching the concept of facing fears to my niece and nephew, whom I love very much. How could I not be honest and vulnerable and push through it for them?!  I hated jumping out of the airplane, but I am passionate about teaching success principles, so I had hired a videographer to film my jump, and committed to use it for my teaching. If I didn’t have a reason bigger than myself, I probably would have bailed on that one!
Would you not run into a burning building to save your child? That’s a compelling purpose that has no regard for fear, skills or courage. A Compelling purpose drives us. The courage shows up as we step into action.
Being afraid or unsure and lost is a sign that you’re doing something worth doing. You will still sense fear and doubt. The voices will be there. Remind yourself of the hunger, the excitement and the difference you want to make and let your purpose drive your action. The universe always rewards action and you will always get feedback – success or failure are one in the same; just feedback to use for taking the next step.
You may have heard the expression “God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle”. Jack Canfield has a similar expression that went viral recently after being on Oprah:” The Universe does not give you a dream that you don’t have the capacity to fulfil”.  Your ideas come to you from some greater source, validating that the world needs your idea. You have the idea. It came to you, not someone else. This means you have the capacity to do something about it. What do you hunger for? What excites you? What difference do you want to make in the world? What are you going to do about it?
Michael Kline is a Certified RIM Facilitator and Certified Success Trainer for personal and group transformation. You can reach him through his website www.intus.life, or e-mail, mike@intus.life.


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