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From Orphan to Soul Man

5/20/2015

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Picture
By Michael Kline
Published in Conway Daily Sun


I spend several weeks each year, attending retreats and seminars to hone my training and coaching skills. Of course, each of these adventures involves as much personal growth work as it does skills training. Personal growth work is not difficult or painful, except when it is. My regular readers know that I am always willing to share my vulnerable and uncomfortable growth lessons with you. This is one of those articles. I am writing this article from Denver, where I just finished my final week of Certification Training at The RIM Institute. Regenerating Images in Memory (RIM) is a powerful Integrative Wellness Technique useful for myriad issues personal and professional. As a RIM facilitator, it is important for me too consistently do self-work, which is the subject of this story.

This story is for the benefit of anyone who has ever been, or would likely be, embarrassed at a workshop by participating, speaking or performing in front of the entire class. Picture being asked to share a personal story, or to lead the class in a dance exercise as an energy break. The worst one I have ever done until this week, was to get into a group, and lead them in a dance. Disco. The group was to follow my lead and mimic my every move. Just shoot me. I survived that exercise when I did it a year ago, but I disliked it enough to not want to inflict it on my own classes, so fear not, regular students!

Last week, my classmates and I received an assignment so bizarre, I was certain it was a trick assignment. Perhaps the goal was to get us to stand up to authority and refuse to perform such a ridiculous task that could not possibly serve any purpose other than to humiliate us. I have a great deal of trust in our instructor whom I have known and worked closely with for over a year, so I decided to play full out. Then I thought I might make a run for it instead. I could head to the airport and abandon my certification. No, no, I can do this. No way, I can do this. This cannot be done. Oh grow up and get to work, I finally told myself. It was 2pm and we had 4 hours until we were to be on stage presenting our work to classmates and invited guests. How far was the airport again?!  Was I being too much of a chicken? It is not like I was asked to play Chicken Little being transformed into Wonder Woman singing This Little Light of Mine. Or worse, I could have been asked to model Professor Higgins from My Fair Lady being transformed into Dr. Seuss singing a Barbara Streisand song. Now that would have been ridiculous and humiliating, am I right?!  These were real assignments, beautifully delivered by two of my classmates. I had it easy; my only task was to portray Harry Potter as the pre-wizard orphan living under his aunt and uncle’s staircase. I was to transform into John Belushi singing Soul Man. Yes, I was given the lyrics and the music, being expected to sing and dance. I don’t sing. Ever. Not even Happy Birthday. I rarely dance in front of sober people. Actually, I am certain I have never danced in front of sober witnesses. Surely, there would be valuable lessons in this exercise. To think I paid good money for this experience. I combed my hair over my forehead and donned my sexy new Harry Potter glasses. I waived my magic wand with a few spells that were completely ineffective at making the audience or myself disappear. As Harry stopped being small, he discovered powers from within. As Harry transformed himself, using the genius he found within, he grew and found his soul; his voice. As wand and wire-rims were replaced with hat and dark sunglasses… I’m a Soul Man.

Lessons learned: I can sing and dance like a soul man. I will never get a recording contract, but I will do anything to become the person who can best help my students and clients. I look ok in a hat. I look freakishly like Harry Potter in wire rims and I can own that too. I am me, and once I did what I once judged ridiculous, I found that the judge voices I have carried in my head for 50 years were silent. They dared not speak. I think I scared the crap out of the voices in my head. They probably left for their own little judgmental airport for fear of being embarrassed, caught in their lies and weakness. No little voices in our head can be as big as our true voice once found and expressed into the world. You do not have to do this particular exercise, but you do have to find your voice and your soul and share them, lest you die under the weight of the weak and judgmental voices carrying lies.


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It’s all in your imagination

5/6/2015

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Picture
by Michael Kline
as Published in Conway Daily Sun

When we imagine an amazing dinner, a walk on the beach, a new romance, or just getting home to relax, the images in our mind are very real to our brain and our body. These images can change our heart rate, our breathing, our stress levels... the brain does not know the difference between real and imagined. If you close your eyes and imagine you are on a giant rollercoaster… slowly, slowly, rolling up toward the sky… looking almost straight up… you feel yourself leveling off at the top…the track disappears in front of you… your stomach senses the impending drop… you feel that? Even as you sit safely on the ground, reading this article, you can create a physical reaction in your body. Your brain sends the same signals raising your blood pressure and stress levels, and releasing cortisol and adrenalin as if the event were real. If you have ever blushed when embarrassed, or if your stomach churns when you speak in public, you are already a believer in the mind-body connection. It is so easy to demonstrate how our brain affects our body whether the event in our brain is real or imagined. Somehow, when it is suggested that our brain has a role in disease, illness and physical pain, we tend to prefer a reliance on western medicine, pharmaceuticals and hard science. As science advances to explain phenomena that only a few years ago were considered too hokey for mainstream consideration, it begs bigger questions.


If the brain has such influence over the physical body, imagine the influence it has over our emotions, fears, hopes, inhibitions and even our most strongly held beliefs. Humans are born with only two natural fears – the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. Everything else is a learned fear, based on some experience or outside influence. The things we hold most dear in our belief system are all made up and placed into our minds by our parents, teachers, preachers, TVs and experiences. Imagine if just some of the things you were convinced to believe were false. What if you could earn a living doing what you love? What if you could find the perfect mate? What if being fat (or skinny/short/bald/poor/stupid) was not in your genes? What if you were smart enough to pursue what you want? What if guilt did not exist? What if money was not the root of all evil? What if you were pretty enough? What if you were strong enough? What if the neighbors’ opinions did not matter? What if thinking of yourself was not selfish? What if worrying and was unnecessary? What if suffering was optional? What if you were not subject to harsh judgment for every mistake you make? Would you be willing to consider just the possibility of some of your beliefs being untrue?

This concept affects everything we do at home and at work. If we believe we are always subject to harsh judgment for mistakes, are we less likely to take risks at work or in business? Does being successful at work require taking some measured risk? For many people, just speaking an opinion or idea out loud, even when solicited by the boss, is too intimidating due to the fear of being judged stupid, naïve or unqualified in some way. It is easier to stay quiet than take the risk. A low-trust environment may have influenced this, or more likely, it is the perception of fear based on our imagination. Somewhere in our childhood, we made a decision about how the world works. We all have vivid memories of mini-traumas; maybe it was that time in the third grade when you raised your hand, made a silly comment and everyone laughed at you. Maybe your parents sarcastically said you would never be a brain surgeon. Whatever it was, maybe it is time to reconsider your beliefs. After all, a belief is just at thought that we keep on thinking. Once we think something, we start to find and store evidence to prove our thoughts correct. Then we keep thinking it and it becomes a belief.

When I work with private clients, they have amassed evidence to prove their beliefs. In a typical session we identify the original thought that started the belief and uncover a mountain of evidence that would prove alternative beliefs. Armed with new evidence to consider, it is then possible to make new choices about how their world works for them.

Having witnessed this transformation too many times to count, I know we can choose a new truth. We can show up at work ready to serve and prosper, while helping others prosper. We can come home every day, fulfilled and eager to enjoy our loved ones. We have the power to use our brains to alter our physical state in an instant, which means we have the power to use our brains to create whatever experience we want in our lives. Sure, it takes a little training and sometimes a lot of clearing of old ways, but consider the payoff. What if dreams really do come true? What if anything really is possible?


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    Picture
    Michael Kline

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