Intus Personal & Group Transformation
Intus on
  • Home
  • Services
    • RIM (Regenerating Images in Memory >
      • RIM
      • Purchase RIM Sessions
      • Learn RIM
      • FAQ's About RIM
      • RIM Research Papers
    • Organizations >
      • Culture & Barrett Values
      • Employees
    • Circle Process
    • Michael Kline - Speaker / Trainer
    • Personal Growth >
      • Success Principles
    • Corporate & Non-Profit
    • Meditations
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Blog

Mixed Feelings on Mother's Day

5/12/2019

1 Comment

 
Picture
​Mixed Feelings on Mother’s Day
By Michael J. Kline

Here in the US and some other countries, today is Mother’s Day. As we realize it is a regional holiday, not a universal law of nature, you get to choose to participate or not, and to the degree you want. You also get to feel how you want to feel about it. In my own experience and working with clients, I know Mother’s Day can be challenging. This article is for those challenged today. That may be due to the loss of a mother, the quality of relationship with your mother or your role, or lack of a role as a mother. It may be for a hundred other reasons. The point is, you might feel something other than like a Hallmark Card. That’s ok.  Feel what you feel.

As a child, I took pride in making cards and gifts in school. In my teen-years, I made the effort to celebrate brunch and dinner with the family. Over the years those days felt more and more hollow until I knew it was downright fake. In my twenties and thirties, I would alternate a couple years not on speaking terms with mom, (when life was easy and fun) and a couple years when we would make up (when life was stressful and burdensome). Eventually, I realized I had the power to say enough is enough. It was difficult and painful, but less difficult and painful than subjecting myself to the constant devaluing antics of a bitter, sad, angry woman I couldn’t help or change.

At age fifty, during a RIM session (Regenerating Images in Memory), I changed my perception of my mother to Aunt. I had accepted her as my mother in every way for the 40-some years since she and my uncle adopted me, following my birth-mother’s death when I was seven. I had no memory of my birth mother. After decades of forgiveness work and trying to understand this relationship and my low self-worth, the breakthrough moment came when I fired her as my mother. I instantly realized that while she never could be what I needed as a mother, she had gone far above and beyond any expectation of an aunt. She took us in, fed us, housed us, educated us and did the best she could with her limited awareness, knowledge, skills and tools. When I lowered the bar for her, I could finally forgive her. Following forgiveness, finding gratitude for the gifts received was easy. My loss of a mother was not on her.

During another RIM session, I was able to sense the feeling of being held by my birthmother. The sense was an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love, safety and protection. I cried a lot, I smiled a lot and I discovered that at some level, at some point, I was wanted, valued and loved.

What I find again and again working with clients is, that it is never too late to create a happy childhood. Thanks to RIM, we actually have the power to not only create a perspective shift, or a re-frame, but we also have the power to create an entirely new experience in our imagination. Our bodies, our unconscious mind and our nervous system, treat a well-imagined event similar to a real event. So, while we intellectually know it was an imagined event, we feel completely different. We can neutralize the negative emotional charged stories we tell ourselves. The story shifts from draining to empowering; from suffering to freedom. Our brains never stop growing and changing. Thanks to neuroplasticity in our brain, we now know that anything is possible.
​
I hope you have something beautiful to celebrate today. I invite you to consider celebrating you. You have already survived everything that has ever happened to you. You have within you, everything you need to be who you want to be; who you were meant to be.

1 Comment
    Picture
    Michael Kline

    Archives

    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    June 2020
    May 2020
    July 2019
    May 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    July 2018
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    October 2012
    May 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    October 2010
    September 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010

    Categories

    All
    Attitude
    Business
    Business 7 Habits
    Business Planning
    Business Training
    Chili Cookoff
    Client Relationships
    Coaching
    Community
    Customer Service
    Emotional Intelligence
    Employee
    Employee Benefits
    Fullfillment
    Goal Setting
    Gratitude
    Happiness
    Happiness At Work
    Health Care
    Home And Work
    Job Performance
    Job Satisfaction
    Kindness
    Leadership
    Learn Rim
    Life Balance
    Management
    Marketing
    Meetings
    Neuroscience
    Personal Growth
    Personal Responsibility
    Planning
    Real Estate
    Retreats
    Rim
    Rim Coaching
    Rim Training
    Sales
    Self Awareness
    Self Help
    Self-help
    Stephen Covey
    Strategy
    Systems
    Uncoachable
    Wisdom

    RSS Feed