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What is Accountability

9/24/2014

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By Michael Kline
as published in Conway Daily Sun  

It depends on whom you ask.  In many meetings, accountability is one of the most popular topics among managers and staff. Everyone seems to agree that we need more accountability. I ask what would that look like?  Silence.  Who needs to be more accountable?  To whom? For what? These answers seldom come easily. When we move the conversation from a group setting to a private meeting, sharing seems to be more forthcoming.  We’ll need to discuss the challenge of honest sharing as a separate issue. As for accountability, it seems most people who say we need more accountability, mean that other people need to be more accountable, not us. It seems most of us want other people to be better at delivering what they promise. We want other people to be on time, behave the way we expect them to, and act in accordance with our perceptions and definition of “ideal”.  

Do we want to be held accountable ourselves? Yes. Overwhelmingly, conscientious people expect to be held accountable, and we seem to think that we are. We think we keep our promises and we behave in accordance with expected standards, at least as we understand them. So are we talking about ourselves or other people when we say we need more accountability in our organization? We may think we are talking about everyone including ourselves, but in reality, it seems we are only talking about others. Go ahead, and give yourself a moment to argue with that last point. Evidence suggests that while we think we include ourselves in this conversation, the reality is we do not.  

We expect to be held accountable to our own standards and we want others to also be accountable to our standards. We foolishly assume that our standards are correct. Other people feel the same way – they want to be held accountable to their standard. The challenge is that our perceptions get in the way. We often are not envisioning an objective set of standards.  We believe our subjective standard to be common sense, basic and infallible. Our perception seems to be that the basics are so fundamental that surely all functioning, reasonably intelligent, working people know what we mean when we talk about work ethics, code of conduct, respect, teamwork, communications, and accountability. I spend much of my work life moving through these conversations in group and individual conversations. I promise you that we all take turns causing grief not so much with our perceptions and paradigms, but with our assumption that our perceptions and paradigms are correct. If you agree we need more accountability, ask yourself, what that would mean to you and how could you be more accountable to yourself and others.  

The first person we need to be honest with and keep promises too is ourselves. Do you regularly break promises to yourself? Did you promise to get more sleep? Eat better? Stand up for yourself? Go home on time? Get better at a skill or habit? How often and how well does that work out? Do you say yes to others in an effort to please them and then disappoint in the long run? If you have a pattern of over-promising to others, you either disappoint them because you can’t deliver the promise, or you disappoint yourself because you sacrifice your own needs by giving away too much of yourself to please others. By the way, this is rarely appreciated by others. Most people would prefer a more assertive truth than an empty promise, or a promise that takes more from you than it should.

After being more honest with ourselves, can we be more honest with others? Do we know what others really want from us and what they would want us to be more accountable for?  I recently did an exercise with several friends and colleagues, asking for feedback.  I invite you to consider doing this exercise. Via email, I asked people to name three strengths they think I’m brilliant at. Then, three things they perceive are weaknesses of mine that could keep me from reaching my goals. This could make many of us uncomfortable as recipients or providers of such feedback. The promise is that we will appreciate honest and helpful feedback and we will be grateful that someone cares enough to share their thoughts with us.  I received invaluable feedback! What others think of us is often very different than we think of ourselves. I think we would do well to look in the mirror with some love and compassion and honesty, and then look into one another’s eyes with similar love, compassion and honesty.   

Accountability is not just about everyone carrying their fair share of work, or keeping promises. It also aligns with the topics of sincerity, integrity and honesty. Each of these virtues can rise and fall in our daily lives unbeknownst to us. We so often don’t practice what we preach even when we think we do.  Let us tackle that in another article. For now, if you want more accountability, begin by asking specifically for what you need.  Ask others specifically what they need from you. Let us begin with being accountable for our role in that conversation first.


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Introverts and Extroverts

9/10/2014

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By Michael Kline
as published in Conway Daily Sun

Being extraverted is often associated with talking more frequently, longer and faster; you know the type – I am the type.  If you’ve ever met me you probably know that I am fully capable of speaking endlessly at a rate of over 250 words per minute – which would be normal if I lived in New York City or if I were the radio voice who reads the legal disclaimer at the end of car sales commercials.  The average person to whom we can actually listen without our ears bleeding, speaks at a rate of only about 150 words per minute. Conversely, introverted people are often associated with speaking more slowly, quietly and less frequently. Both ends of the spectrum present dangers for communication as neither are particularly helpful in sales, service, or relationships.

Adam Grant, PhD., the celebrated professor at The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania has done extensive research on this subject. He identifies a number of discoveries that reveal myths about introverts and extraverts. From where they get their energy, to fear of public speaking, to being better networkers or better sales people, there is little correlation between any of these qualities and whether a person is an extravert or an introvert. I know, it shocked me too, but upon further reading of his material, it began to make sense.

Let us take the skill of persuasion for example. Most people assume that extroverts are natural born salespeople. In fact, according to Dr. Grant’s research, extraverts were only slightly better at sales than introverts were. 1 in 9 American workers work in sales, and according to a survey created by Danial Pink, author of To Sell is Human, the other 8 out of 9, while mostly negative about “sales”, still spend much of their time in direct persuasion.  Much of the persuading we do in life, we don’t consider selling, but is very similar. Let’s face it, if you are a parent or a teacher, you are constantly in persuasion mode. If you have a boss, co-worker or spouse, chances are you spend some time “selling” them on some concept or idea. Daniel Pink’s survey of over 7,000 workers revealed that (non-sales people) American workers self-report spending 41% of their time in the art of sales/persuasion. So the art of persuasion seems important not only to sales people, but to everyone who has a job, a parent, a child, a student, a co-worker, or a relationship with anyone. The bad news for extraverts is that you do not have an advantage in this area. The truth is that effective persuaders are people who possess listening skills, compassion and empathy in addition to presentation skills. We need to be able to understand others’ perspectives, goals, ideas and desires, before we can make any honest promise to be of assistance to them. Does this make persuasion easier for introverts? Introverts may be naturally better listeners, but understanding how you can help someone is not enough. We need to be able to articulate to them clearly, exactly how we can help them and why we are their best alternative.

Given the poor quality of sales and customer service we see in the marketplace, it should not surprise us that some people simply do not listen, while others do not tell you anything. Some of us talk too much to be effective listeners, and some of us do not talk enough to share what we know. Introversion and extroversion are relatively stable personality traits; they do not generally change much throughout a person’s life. While anyone can learn the skills that come naturally to other personality types, research shows that we do not move very far across the spectrum from our natural starting point as introvert or extrovert. If, on a scale of 1-10, from total introvert to total extrovert, none of are likely to move more than 2-3 points on the scale. Good news.

Ambiverts are the folks who are naturally in the middle. Like the ambidextrous, they can go either way and balance listening and presentation skills more easily. In pursuing win/win relationships, we often talk about the balance between courage for oneself and consideration for others. If you are at one end of the spectrum or the other, and you can learn to move just a couple points toward the middle, that is often enough to become far more effective at managing relationships at work and home, and find success in understanding and meeting the needs of others while maintaining a balance with taking care of your own needs.

Regardless of the topic we teach, my team and I constantly find ourselves helping people strike that magic balance of courage and consideration, of speaking and listening, of caring and sharing. There is no wrong place to be on the introvert/extrovert continuum. There are skills that come more easily to you depending where you are. It is relatively easy to acquire the skills you may lack, if it will help you reach your life’s goals. Balance is accessible to nearly everyone and to every organization who finds value in better relationships.

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    Michael Kline

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