I’m a procrastinator – I admit it - especially about writing. I’ll get better - one day!
Just the other day, I sat down at my computer to write – I’ve got several ideas for new stories – starting with hobbies we seem to be re-discovering during the pandemic. I tell myself “Kline, just sit your butt down in the chair and start writing”!
I sit down at my computer – a brand new Surface Pro – I’d seen it in the Microsoft Store window at the mall a million times - $2600 for a laptop – that’s crazy! But maybe it’s just the inspiration I need – like a muse, or at the very least an invaluable tool! It’s so sexy – and look at the keyboard and the magic arc mouse – and the color options – that blue is totally my color – blue enough, but not too blue – steely, soft and bold at the same time. I think it’s the color of my eyes – if I still had young steely blue eyes that were soft and yet bold… never mind that. This will make writing so much easier!
So I’m sitting at my sexy, blue, soft-touch keyboard, feeling young in the… eyes… yeah.. well… I need a coffee. I make a fresh coffee – Starbucks – quarantine style. Reminds of those halcyon pre-covid days when I’d sit at the Starbucks in the mall and write – the mall with the Microsoft store. Then I realize my coffee habit costs more than the Surface pro! Focus dammit. I clear out my emails, as required if I’m to focus. Balance the checking account, clean my desk, and check Facebook to see if yesterday’s video of my puppy Luke swimming has any more likes. (We were at 72 likes and three shares as of this morning).
Ok, now it’s time to write – about what? Oh yeah! I was going to write about hobbies – dammit, that reminds me, I was going to start making bread again. I even got the last three packets of yeast at Publix. I wish we still had Piggly Wiggly stores here, it would be so much more fun to say I got he last three packets of yeast at the Piggly Wiggly.
If I dust off the bread machine and get something started now, it will be fresh and hot for dinner. Thirty minutes later, back at my sexy blue, soft-touch keyboard, nothing left to separate me from changing the world with a few carefully chosen words of wisdom and inspiration. I realize I could use a fresh coffee. I resist – it’s time to write – look at you Kline! The very model of self-discipline! Own it! You’re writing! and avoided getting another coffee!
Just then Luke (the puppy) starts barking like crazy. I rush out to see what’s happening and he’s sitting in the middle of the kitchen barking at the bread machine that had just started pounding and bouncing on the counter, kneading life’s greatest treasures (flour, fat and sugar), into what would soon yield toasted cinnamon raisin bread lathered with a questionable amount of butter. And maybe some powdered sugar. And what the hell, a little honey. Who am I kidding, a lot of honey. As the machine pounded and bounced on the counter, I realized I had not prepared our little Luke for this type of crazy. I had introduced him to the vacuum cleaner, the hair dryer, and the doorbell. It never occurred to me to prepare him for the trauma of a bouncing pounding machine in the kitchen that runs by itself. He’ll be talking about this with doggy therapist one day. Oh god. What if we’re on the Dog whisperer one day?! I’ll be scolded on national television for making cinnamon bread more important than my dog’s emotional well-being.
Am I over-thinking this? I don’t know. I have to wonder though - what would be different in my life if my parents had not prepared me for the surprises, the curve balls and the potholes of life? What if I had never been exposed to life’s proverbial vacuum cleaners and bread machines?! We can never be prepared for every specific bump (or pandemic, murder hornet migration and locust swarm), life might throw at us. We can be prepared though. We can build resilience to be able to handle whatever amount of cray cray shit shows up in life. That’s it! The gift of divine procrastination has once again paid off, fulfilling my quest for the next story topic – Like a puppy with a bread machine, you don’t need to control everything to be able to handle anything.
Michael J. Kline is a Master Certified RIM Practitioner and Trainer, Jack Canfield Associate Trainer and Barrett Certified Consultant. You can reach him through his website www.intus.life, or e-mail, email@example.com.